I really like her stomach...I mean I love her stomach, holy shit. She's beautiful also, which helps, but god damn. Ok. Now to the depressing shit.
My mom's husband of 15 years has fallen into alcoholism, HARD. I've never known him to be a drunk, maybe he has been this entire time and my mom's just never mentioned it, but she's mentioning it now.
He is not going to work, he is taking an entire bottle of vodka into his bedroom, drinking it all and passing out then waking up and going to the store and buying another bottle. He is a stumbling drunk.
He apparently isn't mean, but he's still drunk and he has fallen so far so fast my mom doesn't know what to do.
I have an 11 year old little sister who is witnessing all of this and she wants him to leave (its her dad) because he's so out of control. My mom began going to Al-Anon meetings last week to try and find some advice. He is in pain from some sciatic nerve injury and uses that as an excuse to drink. He isn't happy in their marriage and uses that as an excuse to drink. He uses everything as an excuse to drink.
I told her yesterday that she can always bring my sister to my house and move in with us until she figures out what she's going to do. It would be cramped, but we'd manage. She doesn't want to leave, she loves him, she wants him to get better and stay...but that may not be an option.
I am perplexed by this all. I have had by all accounts a shitty childhood, I have a rocky marriage, I am prone to depression, have spent tons of time in a counselor's office, have no family support system and yet drinking non-stop to ease the pain has never been an option. I also have a heavy history of alcoholism in my family (aunts, uncles, my DAD, great uncles) and have thought about hitting the bottle while I'm crying to myself but DON'T because I know I have people who depend on me to just soldier through the shit.
I am furious, but I can only offer my mom help, she doesn't want me to go over there and beat them man into sobriety, she's specifically asked me not to (knowing that would be my gut reaction).
On top of this, my mom and I have never had a very good relationship. Over the past 5 or 6 years my family has become closer with her and my little sister, but not me, not really. I was taken away from her when I was 12 because she was doing certain things that made her an unfit parent. When I was kicked out of my dad's house at 17 and had nowhere to go she wouldn't take me in. When I put myself through college she stole money from me. As I said, the past half-decade we've been fine, but not "close", and now this.
To put a cherry on top of this, last night my wife and I had a blow out fight. I told her calmly that the way she treats me, specifically how she is treating me right now, is why I don't want to be with her, that I don't want to be with her right now because of this, to which she replies "fine, I don't care" in the snottiest tone possible. The entire fight was rooted in the fact that she was in a pissy mood the second she walked in the door because her best friend is moving to Germany and it upsets her, so she unleashes her anger at me. I have enough shit going on with my work, my house, my family and now my mom that I don't need to bear the wrath of my wife especially if it has nothing to do with me. I am at another cracking point I believe.
When I restarted this journal and said it would be fun to watch me fail, this is what I was talking about.
Now I have to leave, I have a root canal scheduled at noon.
.
My mom's husband of 15 years has fallen into alcoholism, HARD. I've never known him to be a drunk, maybe he has been this entire time and my mom's just never mentioned it, but she's mentioning it now.
He is not going to work, he is taking an entire bottle of vodka into his bedroom, drinking it all and passing out then waking up and going to the store and buying another bottle. He is a stumbling drunk.
He apparently isn't mean, but he's still drunk and he has fallen so far so fast my mom doesn't know what to do.
I have an 11 year old little sister who is witnessing all of this and she wants him to leave (its her dad) because he's so out of control. My mom began going to Al-Anon meetings last week to try and find some advice. He is in pain from some sciatic nerve injury and uses that as an excuse to drink. He isn't happy in their marriage and uses that as an excuse to drink. He uses everything as an excuse to drink.
I told her yesterday that she can always bring my sister to my house and move in with us until she figures out what she's going to do. It would be cramped, but we'd manage. She doesn't want to leave, she loves him, she wants him to get better and stay...but that may not be an option.
I am perplexed by this all. I have had by all accounts a shitty childhood, I have a rocky marriage, I am prone to depression, have spent tons of time in a counselor's office, have no family support system and yet drinking non-stop to ease the pain has never been an option. I also have a heavy history of alcoholism in my family (aunts, uncles, my DAD, great uncles) and have thought about hitting the bottle while I'm crying to myself but DON'T because I know I have people who depend on me to just soldier through the shit.
I am furious, but I can only offer my mom help, she doesn't want me to go over there and beat them man into sobriety, she's specifically asked me not to (knowing that would be my gut reaction).
On top of this, my mom and I have never had a very good relationship. Over the past 5 or 6 years my family has become closer with her and my little sister, but not me, not really. I was taken away from her when I was 12 because she was doing certain things that made her an unfit parent. When I was kicked out of my dad's house at 17 and had nowhere to go she wouldn't take me in. When I put myself through college she stole money from me. As I said, the past half-decade we've been fine, but not "close", and now this.
To put a cherry on top of this, last night my wife and I had a blow out fight. I told her calmly that the way she treats me, specifically how she is treating me right now, is why I don't want to be with her, that I don't want to be with her right now because of this, to which she replies "fine, I don't care" in the snottiest tone possible. The entire fight was rooted in the fact that she was in a pissy mood the second she walked in the door because her best friend is moving to Germany and it upsets her, so she unleashes her anger at me. I have enough shit going on with my work, my house, my family and now my mom that I don't need to bear the wrath of my wife especially if it has nothing to do with me. I am at another cracking point I believe.
When I restarted this journal and said it would be fun to watch me fail, this is what I was talking about.
Now I have to leave, I have a root canal scheduled at noon.
4 comments:
Wow - you were right, this is fun...NOT.
Damn boy, you got some fucked up shit going down.
I need a drink after reading all that.
I have no useful advice. Sorry.
Hi Toast.
I just hope, if anything, that this blog gives you a place to vent.
Don't you just fucking love when you have to have a root canal on top of all the other shit??? Timing is everything in life and comedy.
Your stepdad sounds like he is trying to commit suicide. Your mom could have him hospitalized. It may or may not work.
Good luck with everything. Sheesh!
This made me feel better yesterday in a kinda sick way. I met a hemophiliac double-amputee in a wheel chair who takes public transportation all over the city and can't wait to get out of the hospital next week to start his new job which will hopefully insure him as he has run up $3 million in medical bills in the last 5 years. (I shit you not, this is a true story.)
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