So I was a good Samaritan yesterday. I love it when I get portray a role popularized in the bible, I think it really suits me.

I watched the car in the lane next to me try and speed through a red light (that I stopped at) and subsequently hit a car who was attempting to turn left directly in front of us.

The red light runner hit the passenger side rear bumper of the other car which was in good enough condition to continue on with her left turn and pull over to the side of the road and park.

Normally I wouldn't have stopped and helped, but the car that ran the red light paused for a moment, THEN LEFT. So I, being a fucking genius, followed it, long enough to get the make, model and plate number, and then drove back to the scene of the accident and pulled up behind the car that had been hit.

The driver, who was a 28 year old blonde woman, who unfortunately weighed about 220 lbs, was thrilled I stopped to help, and kept on calling me her guardian angel. That coupled with her crucifix around her neck, her fish logo on her car and her license plate holder that read, "Jesus is Lord" really made me feel good about myself and my decision to stop. She continually expressed how lucky she was to have me there, who was "so positive and upbeat" because otherwise she would be falling apart right now. I told her I got the make of the car and the plate, and that yes, I would wait for the police to arrive. It took about a half an hour before the cop car showed up.

After I gave the cop my info I went to leave the woman leaned over and hugged me and said one more time, "thank god you were here, you're my guardian angel", and I looked her in the eyes and said, "I"m not your guardian angel, I'm just a normal everyday atheist, any other atheist would have done the same thing for you", and walked to my car and left. I felt a lot better after getting that off of my chest. Hail satan.